Monday, November 25, 2013

AMAs and Heartbreak

Music award shows never cease to disappoint me these days, but I always find myself tuning in time and time again. Why is that??? Do any of you have that experience? So many cringe worthy moments and poor vocals, yet I freak out if I turn on the channel a moment after the live broadcast begins. 

Despite the ridiculous content, one thing is consistent and entertaining year after year - all of the different fashion choices {good or bad} made by the celebs (which really means the choices made by the people that they can afford to pay to dress them). This year's American Music Awards, though, was not the worst. I have to say that, despite Pitbull opening the show with an unnecessary moment of objectifying women in black onesies, it was pretty entertaining, far beyond the pretty dresses! 

So, instead of my usual award show tweet fest, I wrote all of my would be tweets into a draft blog post, and now I am going to share them! I can barely hold your excitement...

- As I re-read these this morning, I have reaffirmed for myself that I am thee weirdest and most random human. And I apologize in advance to those of you who didn't watch. This random stream of thought will probably do nothing for goes! -
  • Ariana, you have a great voice, but you sound too much like 90s Mariah for me to take you seriously. Your management needs to find you some original material.
  • Ugh. Rihanna when will I be able to party and drink like you and still look AMAZE...probably when I give up my constant need for food. Sigh. And is your hair in a wrap? 
  • Who are these guys? This drum action is pretty cool. (apparently they were Imagine Dragon? I am so behind on pop culture these days)
  • Chris Daughtry still does stuff? As I type this Anthony says "Daughtry is the man." Guess I missed that memo.
  • Taylor Swift just won her 12th AMA...SHOCKING. But you know what will be more surprised she's about to act. Whoops. Just kidding that was the most composed she's ever been.
  • Seeing Pitbull and Ke$ha perform is literally the last thing I want to do right now, so please don't remind me it's coming up.
  • Excuse me? Why are Michael Bolton and Akon even sharing a stage? I'm so confused.
  • I'm sorry...Macklemore is great and I love him, but he is not hip hop. Yep. I said it. 
  • That woman grinding on Pitbull in this performance looks like Toni Braxton. I was SO worried for about 10.5 seconds.
  • Ke$ha, go home. I'm bored.
  • Like, we haven't seen Joan Jett in years and they are just gonna bring her out of the vault to announce an award at the AMAs?
  • Marc Anthony seriously has a great voice. He looks like the descendant of a street rat, but the man can SING. aaaaand won! Go Marc.
  • Justin Timberlake, marry me. You will never have to drink me away.
  • One Direction over JT...puke.
  • Nelly, you and country music don't mix. Please don't ever do it again. Thanks, Mgmt.
  • OOOOOOMG I forgive you, Nelly! HEY MUST BE THE MONEY. Bring it baaaack! If he sings "Hot in Here" I'm will faint.
  • Hmm. Rihanna, the voice of our time? hmmm....but I mean she's really pretty! But hmm....I mean "Umbrella" is my jam. I guess I just have some mixed feelings here. She is strong though, I cannot take that from her.
  • Oh so she's gonna wear the hair wrap the whole night. Oh ok. 
  • Okay guys I really like Rih, but she looks a little like a toddler having a tantrum performing this song....just me?
  • Awwwww if I ever win any sort of award in life, I hope they bring my mommy out!
  • Great speech, Rih Rih.
  • Jenny you should sing in Spanish all the time. It does something extra for your voice and by extra I mean makes it sound decent.
  • But really, J-Lo sounds 10x better singing Spanish. I would have never guessed...and NO that was not her voice in Selena. Don't get me started.
  • She is gonna look approximately 27 forever.
  • She killed that!!!!
  • NO. I will not accept this country/rap mash up winning an award.
  • YESSSSS. Justyyyy! He is killin' it this year!
  • Look at X-tina, looking gorgeous! and sounding amazingggg
  • KENDRICCCCK. Gosh he's just too good!
  • Gaga and Kels, this should be interesting. 
  • Does R. Kelly have to sing all of this thoughts? This is not a rhetorical question....
  • Okay so I can't help but love Gags. She is a true talent. Say what you wish.
  • This guy from One Direction has the same hair cut as Miley Cyrus. Cute.
  • Good thing Luke Bryan has so much rhythm....
  • Waterfalls!!!!!! Taking me BACK.
  • Meh. Just kidding, this isn't doing it for me.
  • Miley, what is this kitty business?
  • Those vocals were pretty decent though, Miles.
  • um no NO. NOOOOOOO. I'm sorry tswift. NO. Absolutely not. CONSPIRACY. If I were there, I would pull a Kanye.

And just like that the show has been ruined for me. How on earth did Taylor Swift win over Justin Timberlake. His album was magnitudes better. "Red" was really cute, but Artist of the Year worthy? Nah bruh. 

Overall it was a good show. Honestly, one of the better music award shows I've seen in a bit. I was a little thrown by the last 10 minutes, beginning with Miley Cyrus' 90's bodybuilder apparel and kitty background singer, and ending with that robbery of Artist of the Year.

My favorite look of the night was Naya Rivera:

Her beauty is unfair, but cannot be ignored. This look is classic.

So yeah, that's my random play by play of last night's American Music Awards. Bring on the Golden Globes and the Oscars. Those are the award shows I live for.

Cheers <3

1 comment:

  1. hahaha I love this. WHO PUT THESE PICTCHAS ON INSTAGRAM???